* How's Your Favorite Muggle? * (pepper__impps) wrote in the_snark_files,
* How's Your Favorite Muggle? *
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Afterschool Specials and Other Announcements




As a wise man once said, pimping ain't easy. But voting on the most pimped out of Icons/Banners is near child's play. Clickety-click here, show your favorites some Graphic Luv as we search for our August Snarkist of the Month. Hey, don't be shy. If you've got some, show us some of your crunk.

Onward and Upward...


******* THE PLEASANT SNOOZING SOUNDS OF MUZAK *******

QuizMeister: This Has Been a Test of the Emergency Broadcasting System


This week's QuizMeister is roserox07, who went uncontested. Here's the score:


Your Name: Erica
-- I should really start making this Q a little difficult.

The Soap That Gets You The Sudsiest: DOOL (or, when I'm in the mood for a soap that requires the viewer to have at least some brain activity, GH)
-- Any non-NBC daytime drama, really.

No Turning Back: The moment I caught a glimpse of Monsieur Yummy Pants, aka Jason Cook
-- 'Monsieur Yummy Pants'? *SNORT*

The WTF??! Award: The Salem Stalker victims all being alive. No offense to Tony, but not even he has the audacity to come up with such a lucritive plot.
-- No, give Tony your full blast of offensiveness. He needs to be tied and quartered for not managing to bump off a single soul.

Dynamic Duo: Stami. I think Sami needs to clone herself and have her clone become Stan, and the two of them will ride into the sunset.
-- Ha! That was superfunny, and made a very compeling visual. 100 Points.

The Most Barf-Out-Loud Couple: John Black and whomever John Black happens to be making out with. I live in fear of his sucky mouth and slobbery tongue.
-- I'm tempted to give 200 just for this. Aw, what the hell -- here ya go.

Biggest Bitch & Lovin' It: Nicole. Preferably drunk and hiding under a coat in Sami's closet.
-- Nic's getting a lot of closet/terrace action lately, isn't she?

Wicked Witch of the West: Kate. At least make the woman shut up- her voice is the most annoying thing in the world.
-- 50 Points. I'd prefer a ninja death star slicing her throat, killing her quickly and quietly.

Dr. Evil: Tony.
-- Too bad he doesn't just lay off the self-tanner for a few days.

Dr. No: Bart... he rocks my socks.
-- He rocks your socks, but you don't want him around?

Daytime's Very Own Mary Sue: Belle. Although she's starting to turn into quite the little hooch.
-- That Mary Sue went on the last train out of town months back.

A Good Neighbor: Shawn D.... I can see some serious window-shade silhouette fun going on. He can borrow a cup of sugar anyday...
-- Nice. You put Shawn D. Everyone of course was picturing the elder Shawn *cacklez*

M.I.A.: A character who took an sudden leave of abscence...and never came back: Jan. Perhaps she died and I didn't notice?
-- No, I think they just left her in a coma. Maybe if she hadn't killed off her folks, she might still have someone around who cared enough to visit once in a while.

Your Personal Soap Heroine: Sami
-- Sami could rock this soap single-handed. 50 Points.

Your Personal Soap Hero: Shawn. (*sigh*)
--...Who didn't see that coming...?

The Best Understudy: Well, hmmm..... hmmm..... hmmm.... I'm drawing a blank here.
-- Goose egg.

The Worst Fake-Out: Martha. I WANT KIRSTENNNNNN
-- 50 Points. Share my world.

Bodysnatchers: Greta. She's so damn pretty. And I want a tiara.
-- She was a bit like a pretty cardboard cut-out, wasn't she?

The Prettyboy with Cheese: It doesn't get much prettier than Austin.
-- Ooh, which Austin? I liked the actor before DumbJock!Austin, you know, the dude who used to just stand around and look confused...

Most Two-Faced: Sami, Sami, Sami.....
-- Yes, yes, yes.

The Chickenhead Award: Chelsea. Goddamn whore.
-- Bock, bock, BOCK! 100.

The Town ManWhore: Lucas. Come on, people... he's not getting any from Sami; you KNOW he's been calling up a hooker.
-- This one crackled me up, cause seriously, I could picture Lucas rolling around town, hollering at curbside whores.

How You Fared: 550 Points
-- You Could Help Eugenia Plot Her Not-So-Secret Revenge --


QuizMeister: This Has Been a Test of the Emergency Broadcasting System




~~**~*~**~~




And now, to whip those who've participated into a delighted frenzy, I present only the results of those contestants whose first brave responses rung true:


QuizMeister: Who Am I?



* I'm an older matriachal figure known primarily for my culinary wizardry. That Betty Crocker broad's got nothing on me. I'm --

Alice

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
easybeef
thatdamn_laura
tooyoungtolove


* Depending on the mood of the writers, I'm either a blonde or brunette and I've gone from the age of 10 to 16 in the blink of an eye. I've had more actor changes than hip replacements in an old folks home. Think you know who I am?

Abby

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
thatdamn_laura
tooyoungtolove


* Like Zoolander, I've patented my very own look called the WTF?!! face, which I use liberally throughout the show. I've got a younger brother that no one ever mentions and my family once lived in a cardboard box. Yes, its --

Patrick

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
easybeef
thatdamn_laura
tooyoungtolove


* My favorite flavor of male happens to be blond, though I have dipped a few times into brunettes, which ended just as disasterously as all the rest. Some people call me a bitch, but I like to think I'm just highly motivated. But don't ever think about double-crossing --

Nicole

americandesi
daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
easybeef
tooyoungtolove


* I'm one of four sets of multiples written on the show, though I rarely ever make an appearance these days. I like to think of myself as the kindler gentler twin, but if you ask my double, I'm a right pushover, which was probably the reason I was pushed right out the show. Will I ever make a comeback?

Eric

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
easybeef
tooyoungtolove


* Many think I'd make the perfect neighbor with my girl-next-door wholesomeness and wide blue eyes. The fact that I love playing happily oblivious that nearly every guy in Salem is panting at my door just makes me that much more adorable. I'm Mary Sue -- er --

Jennifer

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
tooyoungtolove


* With my olive skin and striking good lucks, I could probably have any girl in town, but no, I'm stuck on the one with the Mad Drama. I could've been made into an action figure, which would have pleased my mom to no end. Yep --

Lucas

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
tooyoungtolove


* I love my son, maybe to a fault, and will do anything to see his happiness, though these acts probably seem more selfish than selfless. And no matter how many times he's written me off, in the end, there's no denying our bond. Who else could I be but --

No Correct Answers


* My perfectly arched brows never move as I deliver each line with all the passion of a dead raccoon. I made an unlikely return to the show after playing another role in the 80's, which irks viewers who still remember me as That Other Guy. My God, I'm --

Roman

daydreamer_1983
baby_girl_88
easybeef
tooyoungtolove


[** One of these questions has TWO possible answers.]


Think you can crack the Elusive Eighth Q? Have at it!

More riddles to come upon completion. Grab a friend, Quiz yourselves, and remember: NO PEEKING at anyone's answers...


~~**~*~**~~

...UPDATE...



Due to quick wit -- or simple powers of deduction -- tooyoungtolove finally managed to crack puzzling #8 (sorry, Kate Haters).


* I love my son, maybe to a fault, and will do anything to see his happiness, though these acts probably seem more selfish than selfless. And no matter how many times he's written me off, in the end, there's no denying our bond. Who else could I be but --

Sami


A new batch of warped riddles coming soon.


*******/MUZAK*******
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